Dying

Here's a sketch of one of my roses... between the mildew and the lack of sun on my porch this time of year they are not doing so well. It's an interesting experience drawing something that you care about but are powerless to save. It remeinds me of something I read in one of Frederick Franck's books.

What really happens when seeing and drawing become seeing/drawing is that awareness and attention become constant and undivided, become contemplation. seeing/drawing is not self-indulgence, a "pleasant hobby," but a discipline of awareness, of unwavering attention to a world which is fully alive. It is not the pursuit of happiness but stopping the pursuit and experiencing the awareness, the happiness of being all there.